Member-only story
Music has always been there for me, in a personal way, that no living human being has ever come through for me.
Tonight, as I sit here, thinking
In the background, I hear Runnin’ (Lose It All) by Naughty Boy and Beyonce. I can’t help but feel connected. Lately, I’ve been trapped inside myself. I don’t know what’s become of me. I look in the mirror and I see my face, somehow that validates me. It’s okay as long as I can mask what’s going on inside me. Music and makeup help me in this way. So that, those who see me, see beauty. I never worry that anyone has the energy or time to look beyond what they see.
You see- there’s something dark and unknown lurking inside me, it’s even more comical that it is unknown — even to me. I’ve made up my mind to make my unknown known to me, but I am scared that I don’t know the hour or the day, and what will be exposed to me.
I’ve been in this state before, it is nothing new to me. Something is blooming except this time, the path before me seems misty, cloudy —
I can’t see around me —
But I know it won’t be the end of me, and the entity that keeps me — will be the one who saves me.
